So I know I joke a lot about working from home, and I don’t do it because I don’t like it. I like it… (for the most part lol) and am beyond grateful that God blessed me with a job that allows me to do so. I will probably throw a fit whenever they call us back in to the office(which looks like no time soon) but will also silently leap for joy because living alone AND being in the house days on days on days can take a toll… and this week, it did just that.

The past couple of weeks, I’ve been contemplating and processing where I am in my life, overwhelmed with thoughts and emotions of not doing enough. Of not being enough. And as an effort to combat those thoughts and emotions, I started a new morning routine this week that I hoped would make me feel better . . . long story short, it didn’t.

Routines are great, what I’ve realized however, is that they are NOT for me. Not in this season of my life, at least. As much as I would love to have every day figured out, every content post planned and ready to go, every meal already prepped, it just doesn’t work for me that way. AND THAT IS OKAY.

For those who know who I work for and what I do, you know my job has me in routine enough; let’s not talk about the people I deal with on the daily either (iykyk). But when the work day is over and sometimes before it even begins, my mind is literally tired and another confined schedule of tasks is the last thing I want to do. Almost two years now I’ve been working from home and I didn’t know it’d drain me so much, to the point where I constantly feel like I’m racing against time, trying to get things done before tomorrow comes. And this week with the snow storm, I rarely go anywhere during the week as it is and not being able to leave even if I wanted to, forcing my mind into a spiral of to-do lists—hit me in a new way too. I truly joke as much as I do to keep my mind, my heart, and my spirit at ease.

So how do I combat this? The alleged lack of creativity and motivation, the lack of productivity and commitment? Well, I opened up and one friend surely encouraged me last night and in that moment, her words were enough for me: “give yourself a break; you’re exactly where you’re supposed to be.”

And only God knew, that was really the reminder I needed. While I was having this conversation and going on and on about where I feel like I’m lacking and all that I’m not doing, as soon as I stopped blabbing, she corrected me and reminded me to look at all that I’ve done already. To look at how far I’ve come, despite every reason I’ve had to give up and walk away. To look at the ways I’ve inspired her along with many others with my writing alone. And it really brought tears to my eyes because for a moment, I had forgot.

Comparison really is the thief of joy. We become our harshest critics when we begin to look around instead of looking up. And truthfully, that’s been the source of my discontentment. From my perspective, I’m doing the worst; but from her perspective, I’m doing my best. And I find it so interesting yet comforting that what we often think of ourselves is the total opposite of what others see. Sounds very much like some One else I know.

So I say alllll this to say, if you’re in a place like me and feel like there’s more you could be or should be doing, give yourself a break—you’re exactly where you’re suppose to be. And probably already doing more than you realize. Don’t rush yourself. And don’t beat yourself up either. Just be you. Be present. And trust your process. Find joy in the little things and do what makes your heart happy. Surround yourself with people you trust and let them be an encouragement to you. Make plain to God your heart’s desires and trust Him to deliver them in His great timing. I know He will :)

Until next time . .

“For I know the plans and thoughts that I have for you,’ says the Lord, ‘plans for peace and well-being and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope.” - Jeremiah‬ ‭29:11‬ ‭(AMP‬)

p.s. love ya angie b! ;)